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On the 5^th July 2015, my beautiful working cocker
spaniel Mango died at only eight months, his life taken by a slug pellet. The shock and trauma that turned my world upside down when he died has been so overwhelming that it has taken me a year to finally find the strength to write this post.  As painful as it still is, I am writing to highlight the dangers of non-pet friendly slug pellets, as so many people (dog owners included) have bought them without knowing that these tiny pellets have the power to take away an animal’s life and bring so much devastation to your own.

Mango was my world, an absolutely striking dog with bright green eyes and the most orange coat I’d ever seen.  He was a typical, crazy working spaniel; he had
me up at 6am most days, loved being out and about, had a razor sharp instinct for hunting (by the age of 7 months he had already killed three birds) and had
so much energy and a passion for life it was infectious. Now his small ashes rest in a box next to my bed.

The symptoms of slug pellet poisoning are this: twitching and muscle tremors, increased excited mood, excessive drooling, panting, fever, seizures, fast heart rate, respiratory failure, rigidity, vomiting and diarrhoea. 

Mango’s symptoms started on a Friday night but didn’t really start to kick in until the Sunday- by the time we rushed him to the emergency vets on Sunday evening, he had nearly all of the above symptoms.  We noticed the drooling on Friday night, and on his walk he seemed more excited than usual. He kept stopping to cough up bits of saliva, and when we rang the emergency vets we were told it sounded as
though he had something stuck in his throat. We were advised to use a syringe to shoot water in his mouth, hoping whatever it was would dislodge. His symptoms got no worse or less on Saturday and Sunday, so we decided to take him to the vets on Monday if he hadn’t improved.

I was at work Sunday afternoon when I got a phone call from my partner Stephen to say I needed to come home immediately. I stepped into my living room to find my dog was near to unrecognisable. He was cowering in the corner under a chair, shaking, foaming at the mouth, turning in circles. But the scariest thing was his eyes; wide and black, the green nearly gone, darting around and looking absolutely terrified. In the past, every time I came home he would fling himself at me and get so excited; this time he didn’t even register
I was in the room. He was in his own, terrified world, not understanding what was happening to his body.

My heart racing like crazy, I grabbed my car keys and
Stephen held Mango in the back seat- by now he was writhing all over the place, still foaming at the mouth and starting to twitch. It was halfway to the
emergency vets that the seizures started, and he carried on fitting right up until we frantically rushed him into the surgery and the vets immediately took
him off us. By then I was an absolute state, near to hysterical waiting to find out what was going on. It was around an hour later that the vet told us they had drugged him with Valium and managed to get his heart rate and fever down. She said it was worth giving him a chance and keeping him in overnight in emergency care to watch him. Even then I didn’t pick up on ‘give him a chance.’ Not once did it cross my mind that he wouldn’t come out of this alive. That was
around 4.30/5pm. It was at 7pm that we got the phone call to say that Mango had suffered a cardiac arrest and died.

And just like that, our beautiful dog, who I loved with all
my heart and looked after so carefully, the dog I had so many plans for, was gone.

His body that never stopped for a second was already stiff and cold when we came back. Those beautiful green eyes were glassy and still, no longer inquisitive. His mouth was still open in a pant, making it look as
though he was smiling. I couldn’t accept this was my Mango. A large part of me still doesn’t. It was then that we were told they strongly suspected slug pellet poisoning. It could have been malicious. Some people would be sick enough to put them down knowing what damage it could do. A pellet can kill a dog within an hour or so, but because Mango’s symptoms were spread out over a full weekend, they believed it was possible he may have ate a bird or mouse without
our knowing, this bird may have previously ate a pellet, and by the time it had got through the birds system it had made its way into Mango’s. Either that or
he had simply picked it up after rolling out of someone’s garden or yard. I felt such crushing guilt; I should have taken him to the vets as soon as I
noticed his symptoms, then he may still be alive. But shockingly, a pellet can kill within an hour- unless you saw your dog eating a pellet and took it to the vets within 30-60 minutes, the dog has no chance of survival. Mango had no chance.

So this is why I decided to do the great north run this
year. I want to raise money for an animal charity in Mango’s name.  Even if you don’t know me, or dislike me even, then please donate in memory of a pup whose life was taken away through no fault of his own, but because of life’s cruelty.

I still feel a lump in my throat, I get upset and think
about him every day. I know there’s a part of me that will never accept or get over what happened. It’s even been tough writing this, opening all those raw wounds and having to relive it all over again. When he died a lot of people didn’t understand our grief, we didn’t always get the empathy you would expect from the people around you- because of course he was just a dog. I know there are worse things, bigger tragedies. But it was our tragedy and he was our dog, a family member and both myself and my partner experienced grief over his death that we never felt when either of our family members have died. Because a bond you create with a dog is unbreakable.

Our one consolation is that he had that much Valium in his system he wouldn’t have felt any pain when he died. At least we did that for him. I could scream with the injustice of it all, the disbelief that a few tiny
pellets have the power to destroy a life so easily and mercilessly.  I always ask why my dog? But really, what we should be asking is why any dog? Why any cat? Why sell toxic pellets when we have pet-friendly? Anybody can walk into a shop and buy non pet-friendly slug pellets off the shelf, and any living thing that eats them will die. Google it, it’s happened over and over again. Mango’s name has been added to a list of many.

So I write this post on the anniversary of his death to ask you to donate for Mango, and if you do buy pellets, please, please check that they are not toxic to animals. You could just save a life.

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